2. DO NOT talk about /b/

3. We are Anonymous

4. Anonymous is legion

5. Anonymous never forgives

6. Anonymous can be horrible, senseless, uncaring monster

7. Anonymous is still able to deliver

8. There are no real rules about posting

9. There are no real rules about moderation either – enjoy your ban

10. If you enjoy any rival sites – DON’T

11. All your carefully picked arguments can easily be ignored

12. Anything you say can and will be used against you

13. Anything you say can and will be turned into something else – fixed

14. Do not argue with trolls – it means that they win

15. The harder you try the harder you will fail

16. If you fail in epic proportions, it may just become a winning failure

17. Every win fails eventually

18. Everything that can be labeled can be hated

19. The more you hate it the stronger it gets

20. Nothing is to be taken seriously

21. Original content is original only for a few seconds before getting old

22. Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality

23. Copypasta is made to ruin every last bit of originality

24. Every repost is always a repost of a repost

25. Relation to the original topic decreases with every single post

26. Any topic can be easily turned into something totally unrelated

27. Always question a person’s sexual preferences without any real reason

28. Always question a person’s gender – just in case it’s really a man

29. In the internet all girls are men and all kids are undercover FBI agents

30. There are no girls on the internet

31. TITS or GTFO – the choice is yours

32. You must have pictures to prove your statement

33. Lurk more – it’s never enough

34. There is porn of it, no exceptions

35. If no porn is found at the moment, it will be made

36. There will always be more f***** up s*** than you just saw

37. You can not divide by zero (just because the calculator says so)

38. No real limits of any kind apply here – not even the sky

39. CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL

40. EVEN WITH CRUISE CONTROL YOU STILL HAVE TO STEER

41. Desu isn’t funny. Seriously guys. It’s worse than Chuck Norris jokes

42. Nothing is Sacred

43. The more beautiful and pure a thing is – the more satisfying it is to corrupt it

44. Even one positive comment about Japanese things can make you a weeaboo

45. When one sees a lion, one must get into the car

46. There is always furry porn of it

47. The pool is always closed

48. Do Not turn your back on Anonymous. Do not Betray Anonymous. Anonymous does not forget and neither should you. What Anonymous gives, Anonymous can take away. We control everything.

Airplane versus giraffe

I Like my girls like I like my wine

Put your ad here!
So one day Farmer John called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.”

“What do you want me to do?” asked the sheriff.

“I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!”

So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said:

SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, “You’ve got to do something about these drivers. The ‘School Crossing’ sign seems to make them go even faster.”

So again the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, “Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?”

The sheriff told him, “Sure thing, put up your own sign … ” He was going to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling every day to complain.

The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John. Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of him and he decided to give Farmer John a call. “How’s the problem with those drivers? Did you put up your sign?”

“Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since. I’ve got to go. I’m very busy.” He hung up the phone.

The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, “I’d better go out there and take a look at that sign … it might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers … ” So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John’s house and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray-painted on a sheet of wood:

NUDIST COLONY

A: If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts!

The cop says “Sir may i see your licence please.”
The man says, “I don’t have my licence officer.”
The cop says, “You don’t do you, well then let me see your registration.”
The man say, “I don’t have any registration, but wait let me see i think i saw it when i put my gun in the glove compartment”
The cop says pulling his gun out of its holster,”you gotta gun in the glove compartment?”
The man says, “Yeah, i used it to shoot the lady that i stole the car from”.
The Cop says, “You shot a lady and stole her car.”
The man says, “Yeah, shes in the trunk.”
The cop Says, “you put the lady in the trunk?”

The cop thinks that he can’t handle this by himself and calls in back up. The back up arrived and a police negotiator walks up to the car and talks to the man.

The negotiator says, “I understand you don’t have your licence.”
The man says, “What of course i have my licence.”
The negotiator says,”You do then what about your registration?”
The man says, “Yep, i got that to its in my glove compartment.”
The negotiator walks over and opens the glove compartement and to his surprise, the registration was in there and not a gun.
the negotiator says,”well what about the lady you stole the car from that you locked in the trunk?’
The man says, “Lady in the trunk what are you talking about?!”
The negotiator says, “Well one of the officers over there told me all of this stuff.”
The man says, “well i bet that son-of-a-b***h told you i was speeding too!”

The snake has skid marks in front of it.